365 days go bye

365 days. I have made it another 365 days. I have experienced every emotion. I’ve felt happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, regret, victory, loss. and everything in between. I loved, I lost. I lost myself there for a while. And then I found something even more beautiful. I don’t know why when I think back about this year, I keep trying to black out the sad moments, the bad moments, the mistakes, and the regrets. I think putting the best moments in a cute Instagram video is nice and all but how about all the moments in between. I spent most of this year experiencing things for the first time alone. I met so many new people, navigating through their journey, crossing paths into mine. I sometimes forget the early part of this year or the fact that we are still in a global pandemic. I lost my phone around March this year and so most memories that were stored in my phone were lost. And if it’s not documented somewhere did it really happen? I think maybe it’s a good thing? or bad? Not sure yet. I feel like I started out the year very naive, with so much unknown. Everything was changing around me. I was surrounded by new people and experiencing new things. I loved it all though, it was beautiful when it was good. I felt so old, the oldest I’d ever been I guess. I thought I knew what I was doing. I got distracted by shiny things and the life I had. I think back to who I was 8 months ago and how much has happened in between. Don’t get me wrong I don’t regret everything. I truly do think I had to experience everything for a reason. So many good moments, so many firsts.